Toshiba Ultrabook!

So, these AMAZING looking gadgets you see are called Toshiba Ultrabooks. All I'm saying is Christmas present. Please! They look so cool and fun. In other pictures I saw, it looks like the screen turns all the away backwards and it lays flat. Nice, flexible. They look really nice. I'm hoping I'll get it for a Christmas present but don't know if I'll actually get it or not. But who knows? Maybe :) ♥
I did this blog post in purple because I was in a purple mood. Okay, that is all :)

Just a Post. Not Sure What To Call It.

I guess the weekend went well ... better than I figured. This Thanksgiving was fine except the not knowing if my boyfriend went to see her or not.. I guess it really doesn't matter too much either way because the less I know, the better. Of course I didn't want him seeing her mainly because of two reasons.
First reason being that I'm his girlfriend. Last time I checked, and I'm sure any other girl with a boyfriend will agree, guys with girlfriends just do not hang out with other girls. It's like... a crime in relationships.
Second reason being that I'm just a jealous person. I always have been. I get jealous entirely too easily. It doesn't even matter, if my boyfriend even looks at a girl I get this feeling in my chest that feels like a fire that's just had gasoline poured on it.
Bottom line is I REALLY didn't want him seeing her. And for personal reasons, I'm really insecure about this.
I need to get my mind off this. Should be pretty easy but I need an idea. Which could take some time to think of something.
I've noticed in the last week that I have a new follower. I'm not complaining, I'm actually shocked. I didn't think people actually got on my blog. Honestly, I don't really think I'm that interesting.
Christmas is coming up really fast. It's really hard to believe last Christmas seems not too long ago. I'm hoping I'll get something like a Toshiba Ultrabook. Those things look awesome. I wonder if they're as awesome as they look though. All I know is if I got that Ultrabook, you couldn't get me off of it !
I'm still thinking badly about, well, everything. There just seems to be added fuel to the fire everyday. God I need something to get my mind off this... but nothing seems to work.
I need to find some sort of game to play. Something that works your brain that takes a lot of memory and a lot of focus. Like Solitaire. Or spider solitaire. Only, I've been playing that game all summer long and for the most part, Solitaire is the only game I play. I play the Sims 3 (when it isn't slow on my computer) and that seems to work really well at keeping my mind pre-occupied but I don't always have access to it. Like now when I'm at school. There's got to be something out there. Suggestions?
I'm taking breaks while I'm writing this, so if there just so happens to be someone reading this, my mind isn't actually going 90 miles per hour. I'm taking breaks. No worries...
Something that always seems to help; Music. Preferably rap. I guess I like how the world has evolved into technology so much. What can I say? it's addicting. But of course I didn't grow up at the time where the most advanced technology was the microwave. Nope. This is 2012. And my generration is so involved with technology that technology IS the world. Not complaining about it, though, I actually like it. Being able to always have a way to entertain yourself, especially with more and more being added onto and evolved. It's fascinating, actually.
I know I didn't grow up at that time, but my mom has told me enough about it that I can pretty much imagine what it was like. It seemed like such a happier, simpler time. If I could time travel, I would definitly be at the 1970's ! America's hayday.
I guess that's all I'm gonna post there's not really much I have to say.

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Weekend Gone Wrong ..

It's so strange to think that within every week, there's 2 days that we get off from school and weekends are usually fun and you're just sleeping in, and doing stuff with you friends. Which is what I'm usually, most likely, doing. I see my boyfriend every weekend. Well.. mostly every weekend... sometimes, my mom won't feel like taking me to his house. Which is really selfish and really pisses me off sometimes ...
Well. This weekend was one of those weekends where she was being selfish. "Oh. I don't feel like taking you up there. He has to come down here and get you." Wtf? Are you kidding me? It isnt that far of a drive, really, truely, it isn't. This already really upset me... but I knew that it was just a Friday and I had 2 more days before I had to go back to school so for that one night, I handled it. I was alright just knowing I would see him tomorrow and everything would be okay. Until that Saturday morning came around. My hopes were up so high and I was okay and so glad I would get to see him after having to wait so long. I called my mom and she tells me I have to be home by midnight. Usually I could be okay and just accept that but I really Did want to spend the night and what really pissed me off the most was that she ALWAYS lets me stay the night. Always. So I just really don't understand what the big deal was. PISSED ME OFF SO BAD. ! So I just decided to say fuck it. Fuck this whole weekend, nothings gonna go right and I can't even talk to my mom...
So I'm talking to Gavon about all of this, and I'm actually being optimistic and trying to bring up positive things. I mentioned that this is just one weekend, and it's okay that there's still next weekend and Thanksgiving break which is a week.... he says to me, "I don't know if thanksgiving is going to work" and, of course, as everyone else would, I asked why not. Expecting to be able to just take anything life could throw at me. Big mistake....
He tells me that Sam, his ex, is coming down for Thanksgiving and she wants to see him ! What the fucking shit? This whole weekend, I've been bitching at my mom, getting mad at the world, and he knows this. So why he decided to tell me then, I'll never really know. That's when shit hit the fan and all hell broke loose. So why he decided to just add fuel to the fire and make an already BAD weekend WORSE, I truely don't understand. Maybe someday I will though.
I could go on and on about that... but I don't because I know if I rant about this anymore I'll only make myself mad and I don't want to even remember all this. I only want it to be over with. I just want all of this In the past and out of my head.
And during the same time period, my dad and my brother got in a huge fight over some stupid, pointless shit that I don't want anything to do with.
Point it, i'm not feeling well. I'm not feeling well at all. And I just want all of this to be done... I've been spending all my time trying to get it together and trying to make it all just go away. Sooner or later, it will... I'm just holding out for good times and for all this pain to stop.

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Oh my god. get me out of here.

Some of these guys in this class are just so fuckin immature. Why can't boys just grow the hell up? They're back there laughing like they're mentally ill or something! Like seriously shut the fuck up!

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Time is slipping away...

So, a lot here recently, in the last few days, maybe weeks, I've been getting a lot of my memory back and remembering a lot of stuff from the past. Now, looking back on everything, I realize something. I realize that time goes faster and faster. Faster than a cheetah runs, faster than the cars you see in the Daytona 500!
Just last night I was thinking about when me and Gavon first got together. That was over two months ago. What? There's no way. But.. yes way. Its the honest to god truth that time is flying by faster than the speed of light right before my eyes.
I guess it's something that I need to be expecting since its just how it is. Time goes by quickly when you're having lots of fun. Its always been like that. At one point in everyone's life, time speeds up. We see our life just disappearing right before us and there's nothing we can do about it. Especially when we look back and just think "wow. that was a really long time ago but it seems like just yesterday."
I mean, it's just about New Years right now. January 1st. The big day for us to ring in the new year 2013. Even though I remember last new years like it just happened. Honestly.
I mean, what can you do, when all your weeks feel like days and all your days feel like hours and when your months feel like weeks? What can you do? And you know it's getting bad when years feel like they just happened ! You start to wonder where the time's gone, what happens to it? And how you've grown up so fast.
But like I said before, it's something to expect and it happens to everyone.

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Happy birthday, harrison ! :D

It was my best friend, Harrison's, birthday yesterday! He turned 16 and I made my mom and my moms boyfriend sing happy birthday to him on the phone and oh my god It was the FUNNIEST thing I have ever seen. Like forreal haha

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Tiredddd.

Why can't I get enough sleep at night? I feel like I can't even get through the day or wake up without drinking some energy drink to get up. Like, I'm sleeping at night- I'm sleeping for 8 hours, but it doesn't seem to be helping me any. I'm still getting tired at school. I'm still being lazy when I get home. So what the hell could it be? Ugh. It's so frustrating, like really. I lay my head down in class and I can't stay awake for the life of me. Its terrible. I don't know what it could be....

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Weekend ♥ :)

It's Monday now, but this weekend was truely wonderful. I had the time of my life with the love of my life<3
I stayed over there the whole weekend, from Friday afternoon until Sunday evening I was there with him at his house. I keep thinking about him and how happy I was there. Escaped from all reality, not worrying about a thing in the world. I just love being around him, he's an amazing person and just a joy to be with.
I could spend the rest of my life with him, I would never be down and depressed ever again<3
I love him.

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Nightmares :'/

It seems like it's getting to be every single night. I can't seem to stop them from happening. A lot of times, they're just nightmares of Gavon not speaking to me.. pulling away. Trying to get me to stop talking to him. And more of the hardcore ones are just me getting raped and getting into uncontrollable car wrecks. This has been going on for a while, now. It's just now becoming a problem for me.. because usually I can just go back to sleep, forget about it, and not even worry about it, because I know they're only dreams. But this time, I can't do that. that's why it's begining to be a problem.
I know Gavon would never do that to me, give me nothing but silence and ignore me. But these dreams just seem SO real... I don't know what to do about it anymore besides just take more things to sleep and hope I fall into a deep enough sleep and not dream at all.
I can imagine that I can do this, just sleep so deep. I don't want anymore nightmares.

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