Posting Thoughts & Horoscopes

So, I don't have much to blog about except for Whitman, Astrology, & art because I have found a new love for literature and poetry, and the horoscopes so I've just been throwing myself into it. I like my new life, without a smart phone, without the internet all the time except for when I use my mom's laptop occasionally. I feel like I am living more free and living life as it should be, and living without artificial pleasures. I doubt people worried about me when I seemed to drop off the face of the earth for 2 months, but if anyone did, don't worry because I'm doing just fine. I've been doing much soul searching, trying to create myself (or figure myself out) with no distraction, and I'm getting to be all free-spirit.
But anyways, enough about me, I wanted to post my horoscope reading for tomorrow (September 4, 2017) - this one is interesting and made me feel a little better.
Tap into your creativity to unblock your emotions today, Pisces. This can be a more powerful tool than you realize. Creativity is a big part of you -- almost as big as communication. Your emotions are linked to these, and all are interacting beneath the surface. If one is blocked, the key to releasing it is to focus on the other two. Express yourself through creativity and talking to someone else. 
I paint almost all the time, but lately it just seems like I have been struggling to find inspiration and ideas. Painting and drawing are two of my favorite things to do but I just wish I could find myself and maybe I could express myself better through paintings.
What this horoscope reading tells me that maybe communicating my emotions and thoughts to someone close to me, I can release these emotions therefor letting my mind focus only on my creativity. I do have tons of "emotions interacting under the surface" so if I can get all of these emotions off of my chest, I can start doing what I love more.
And now it's September, so a new month means a new monthly horoscope. My horoscope for the month of September says..
On September 4th, the Sun opposes Neptune. Trust your feelings and intuition. Be more psychic. Your heart is in for a wild ride during September 6th's full moon, which also conjoins Neptune. (Pisces' Planet) Romantic fantasies and angelic ideas are rarely strong or numerous. Dreams should be rich, too. On the September 19th's new moon, love may take a firm grip on your heart, but it won't be easy and possibly not at all fun. You may want too much, and you may want to give too much. If feelings get hurt, it will mostly be over imagined problems. Relax if you can. 
So, I've highlighted the parts that are my favorite and most interesting. This month is so far so good, and I'd love to keep it that way. I find the "Dreams should be rich" part so exciting. I love having dreams, no matter how weird they get. I get upset or disappointed if I wake up without having a dream. (Which doesn't happen often, because I dream very avidly.) Sometimes I dream of things pertaining to my life and things that I do and sometimes, my dreams are just waaayyy out there. It's ashame that I have more fun in my dreams then 75% of the time I'm awake. (I still have a little fun)
Okay, so a new website I get horoscopes from is horoscope.com and they have different categories of zodiac readings including health, money, relationships, etc. I am going to write my "health horoscope"
Today's aspect brings you to a quiet place of introspection that might lead to significant changes. Notice what you are thinking about beneath the surface - give yourself some extra personal time during the day if it is hard for you to concentrate. A yoga class or run will give you some time to focus on what's important. Consider your abilities to change what you aren't happy with in your life - they are formidable !
That just sounded like a good idea to collect my thoughts. (The running not the yoga class.) I already go on walks through Florida when I don't feel like wasting gas in my car.
Okay, now I need to stop because I have spent 2 and a half hours blogging about my horoscopes and how I interpreted them, so I am ending this one. Until next time! xoxo

Another Accurate Horoscope Reading

Today, I went back to Astrology.com to read another days Horoscope, and again I felt like it was very fitting to me. It's a little bit longer than usual, but this is what it said...
The array of stars in your heaven will occur in your very own sign-- which means you're going to be so darned emotional , you probably won't recognize yourself. You're also going to be feeling extremely rebellious, so anyone who tries to challenge you or test you -- well, they'll soon learn it wasn't the best idea they ever had. You'll let 'em have it with both barrels -- as well you should. No more Mr. Nice Guy (or Gal)!!

Yeah, I really like that one because it was very well said and written. I agree, I have been feeling emotional yet rebellious lately. I still haven't gotten to tell anyone like it is, though. I feel like people who would even want to try to "challenge me" are too scared to anyways, and they won't. So, I doubt that's going to happen.
So, on Astrology.com, you can read different horoscopes like "Daily, Monthly, and Daily Couples" but this time around, I clicked on "Daily Quickies" (sexual joke intended,) but basically the quickies are a short version of your horoscope. They're usually only a sentence or two long, and mine for today says: Your creativity will be sparkling today -- express yourself.  And I really loved this one. This is funny, because I was actually being creative today by helping mamma paint some rocks for the Kindness Rocks Project. You paint something on a rock and you hide it somewhere for someone to find, then they are supposed to hide it for someone else to find, and so on. I painted like 5 of them, so I think that counts. Painting the rocks was really fun.

I painted the black and white, lace looking one, the Alabama A, and the swirly one. The quotes are the ones my mamma did. 

My Horoscopes are like always accurate. It's crazy! I may be nuts for believing in Astrology, but that's perfectly fine with me. Another one I just read says this: Your operatic chorus sounds great to you-- and might be affecting to certain others as well. See if you can get folks going with you or at least make sure they sit quietly and pay careful attention to your art. I guess I just liked the sound of that one.

And then I read tomorrow's Horoscope, and I liked it even more! "You should pay attention to your dreams, Pisces, but tonight your subconscious might send you some garbled information that means next to nothing. If the message is obvious, pay attention to it, but if you have to preform too many mental gymnastics to discern what the symbols mean, they might mean nothing. Sometimes a dream is just a dream. 

This was particularly interesting, because I have dreams every night and they are always so clear and my dreams always seem so real. It can sometimes be hard to tell if I'm dreaming or awake, because when I'm asleep and still kind of living life because I'm still doing things, going places, and moving around in my dreams, I sometimes don't know what's real or what's a dream. The yearly Horoscope I read directly mentions this (again, same as another last month.) I was kind of shocked when I read it, honestly. It said... 

2017 is a year of pure magic! Take the time to distinguish between what's real and what's illusion and you'll safely navigate any and all situations. 

With the Mars-Neptune conjunction in Pisces that opens 2017, you can use charm rather than be charmed, hold true to the loftiest of ideas, and dispel any deceit or deception.

The January Sun-Pluto conjunction in Capricorn brings intensity to all your efforts for success. It intensifies your feelings and passions, too.

A February solar eclipse in Pisces opens another door. Your modern planet Neptune is conjoined with the eclipsed Sun. If the outside world is in disarray, you'll see through the fog and be a beacon for others to realize what is best.

Your traditional planet Jupiter spends most of the year in Libra and is incredibly powerful. It starts in opposition to Uranus in Aries. This puts a lid on too many or too wild desires. 

When the Sun enters Pisces in February, Jupiter will still be opposed to Uranus, but now Mars and Aries are involved. Rash actions or impulses will be recognized in time. Pour extra creative energy into more constructive channels. 

When the Sun enters Pisces, it will be together with the Lunar South Mode. Memories, feelings, and emotional ties are strong this year. Catch yourself if you fall back into any old habits and benefit from what the past has taught you. 

So this could be applied to both my dreams and real life. I looked up the Pisces Strengths and Weaknesses and such, this is what it said. All of this is just spot on to me. This is just crazy how spot on these are. Without a doubt, I believe in the Zodiac. I just don't believe that my desire to escape reality and dream should be considered a weakness, though. Sure, it's true, I love to dream and love the places I can go and the things I can do in my dreams that I can't do in reality, but I definitely don't feel like that weakens me. Sometimes, my dreams are just better than my reality. 

I also picked a tarot card and I picked the Temperance. This is what it told me.. Patience is your secret weapon to face down all obstacles today. Take your good old time to make sure you understand what needs to be done, for whom, why, and how. The methodical approach may not be your natural or favorite one, and it might annoy someone who has a different opinion on how urgent the issue is. Nonetheless, patience will get your through the day with fewer, if any, mishaps. 

As I've said before, if I continue to blog about Astrology, I will be here all night and I don't feel like that, so I think this is all for now. 

Understanding Walt Whitman

Lately, I've been doing lots of reading and trying to understand poetry better so while I was at Books a Million with my mom, she told me she would let me pick out a book and she would buy it so I was really happy about that. I decided to get Walt Whitman's Leaves of Grass and I don't think I could've made a better decision. So for the passed month or so I have been doing lots of reading. The poems in Leaves of Grass are really interesting and well written. My favorites so far are Song of Myself, Song of the Open Road, and Perfections. Song of Myself really speaks to me because it's about doing things for yourself, and understanding other people's point of views. One of my favorite lines goes like this:
"I exist as I am, that is enough.
If no other in the world be aware I sit content,
And if each and all be aware I sit content."

Meaning I don't care if anyone acknowledges me and I don't care if my existence means anything to anyone else, because I'm not seeking approval from anyone. I have filled up tons of pages in my inspiration journal with quotes and poetry by Walt Whitman. Song of the Open Road is another one of my favorites, but like Song of Myself, it is a very long poem with way too many lines to recite right now. So I will just recite one line that meant something to me.

The north and the south are mine, the east and the west are mine. 
And to me, this means that when I'm driving, I can go anywhere I choose. Every direction of the open road is mine. I don't know if that line is 100% correctly quoted, because I don't have my copy of Leaves of Grass with me right now, so I'm trying to only go by my memory. I have highlighted all of my favorite lines in the book that I've read so far and I wish I could write them all down on my blog but I don't feel like going to get it out of my car right now.

Unlike Song of Myself and Song of the Open Road, Walt Whitman's poem Perfections is very short. In fact, it's only 2 lines long, so I can recite it really easily. It goes like this...
"Only themselves understand themselves and the likes of themselves,
As souls only understand souls."
And I just really liked this one because it seems fitting to say that souls only understand souls. People really don't understand each other the way we should. We only understand our own perspectives and our own reasons for doing things.

Astrology

So, I decided tonight that I would visit Astrology.com to get my horoscope and pick some Tarot cards and surprisingly, they were all fitting. My horoscope said essentially that beginning late in the evening, I would feel compelled to complete everything that's unfinished in a "most methodical way." Then proceeded to ask the question; Are you up for it, even though you're usually not very fond of rules that encumber your creative side? You bet you are. So I assume that answer would be yes, because here I am, dotting all of the i's and crossing all of the t's. I felt like I left my blog unfinished this morning and honestly felt bored because I don't have anything else to do.
I also read my Horoscope from yesterday, and it told me that if I were to buy myself a gift, to buy a journal because it's something to be productive with my time and creativity. Am I going to buy a new journal? Probably not, because I already have plenty, but still, I am a bit impressed at the accuracy. I have been feeling the need to do more writing lately, and if not writing, just coloring instead of painting. I've been trying to get better at using colored pencils but for now, but that's irrelevant.
Anyways, I proceeded deeper in Astrology.com and picked my random Tarot cards and they seemed to be accurate. First, I picked a Daily Tarot and I got the Sun! After that, I picked a random Yes or No tarot card and this is what it said....
The Sun- Your Answer is Yes!
The Sun represents good thoughts, happiness, and contentment. You find a good place in your life where you experience satisfaction. Your worries fade away for a time and you are able to relax. All of the fears that surrounded you for so long now fade into the background. This is a result more of your own attitude changing rather than a turn of events.

So, as much time as I've been spending on myself and my attitude, and just trying to rid my life of negativity should soon pay off. That much is true, regardless of how you feel about horoscopes or tarot cards or any psychic readings. I'll admit that I used to call it bullshit but these reading are somewhat seeming to fall into place with how my life is going right now.

Sleepless

I usually can't even blog whenever I want because I never have a reliable Internet connection, but for now, I can. So I woke up a few hours ago from another nightmare where I'm back in the ocean but can't swim because the water is just too choppy and wavy. I understand why I would be having that nightmare, though because 2 weeks ago I was on the boat with Kali, Wil, and Tyler but didn't consider that when I jumped off the boat in the water that it would be a lot harder to swim than before because the waves were just too strong. It was the first time I've swam and used all my strength but barely went anywhere. To me, I think the reason I would be having a nightmare about that is because I've always been such a strong swimmer but felt like I was losing control. I take some pride in feeling like a mermaid at heart with swimming being something I'm really good at, and maybe I felt like that was taken from me. That day was bad because I wasn't expecting the ocean to be so much stronger than me. The last time we all went swimming off the boat, the water was calm and very gentle so I guess I just thought it would be okay.
Sometimes, I can understand my dreams, like that one, but others just confuse the hell out of me. In my dreams, I am usually driving because that's what I do a lot, especially now because I've been driving a lot from state to state on the weekends. I'm driving in my dreams, but I always know where to go. The roads I take in my dreams always lead me to places that I intend on going, but the roads themselves are different. So my problem is obviously not with direction, but maybe different roads? Even the roads in Florida, that are still kind of new to me, appear to be different but still go where they're supposed to go. Basically, they look like roads I have never driven in my entire life but go to the same places I've been driving before. I don't understand that at all.
I'm a very avid, very vivid dreamer. I've had friends tell me that they don't dream and I'm just trying to imagine, how boring and how monotonous that must be. Even if my dreams turn into nightmares, it's still okay with me because even when I'm dreaming, I sort of know that I'm dreaming. I have gotten into a habit of doing reality checks, which carry on into my dreams so I just know. Some of the reality checks I do is counting how many fingers I have, (In your dreams, you will have more or less than 10 fingers) watch a digital clock and make sure time is actually going by in minutes, (I choose a digital clock because seeing the numbers go up with the minutes is another way to check that you're awake. While you're dreaming, time on the clock will appear to move faster, or stay at the same time.) I also do reality checks in my car, because as I mentioned before, a lot of my dreams happen in my car so I use my speedometer and RPMs to determine if I'm dreaming or not. (And this one, is all my own, so this probably won't work for anyone else. If the speedometer just sits in the same place for a really long time, or my speed shoots up and then goes down rapidly, I can assume I'm dreaming. Anything out of the ordinary.)
Before, I've actually dreamed that I was driving my car while it was on fire. That was a really scary one, that began as a regular dream then quickly turned into a nightmare. Sometimes I dream that I'm trying to get my car to go into gear, but it can't, or I'm pressing the gas but going nowhere or hitting the brakes but not stopping. I've even dreamed that I had 2 Fiats. I feel like I would be having a dream like that because I'm afraid my car is going to break down on me or not be reliable when I need it. It's funny, because my shift linkage on my car is broken, so Zach has to put my car in gear manually. (In simple terms, when I move my gear shifter to Park, Reverse or Drive, nothing happens because the link is missing.) This just happened recently but I've had the dream that my car wouldn't go into gear before.

Florida

I have been out of Alabama and off of social media for a few months now. Mainly because there was soda in my phone and that's why it was always breaking and the battery had to be replaced so many times. I'm not complaining, though. I actually like not being on social media all the time. So now, I only get online when I use my mom's laptop when I'm visiting her.
I use an old Tracfone now and all I use it for is calling because I barely text anyone anyways. But anyways, Florida is amazing and fun. I'm much happier living there than living in this dump town. I'm getting to be all free spirit and do my own thing for a while before I consider moving back. That is, if I even considered it, anyways, because for now I haven't. Florida just makes me feel like I'm going to be young forever and makes me a happier person in general. My small town house is perfect for me, and it's a good place to read and think and create art and paintings.
I may login to my Tumblr art blog and download some of them to my Art page on this blog.
Sometimes, sharing my art with the internet seems like a good idea, because I guess I want other people to enjoy my paintings, (if you enjoy that kinda stuff.) but sometimes it feels like a crime because it opens up a window of opportunity for others to steal or copy my ideas, or in other cases, try to tell me my paintings are awful or ugly or unsatisfactory. Whatever happens, it's okay because I don't upload all of my art anyways. Surely, there's no way for anyone to steal all my ideas, though. I have filled up almost two Canson Mixed Media books with nothing but my paintings and drawings. I love the mixed media books, because I love painting with watercolors and the mix media paper works amazing for watercolor because the paper is thicker than regular paper.

Anyways, on another note, spending the weekend of the Marion rodeo actually in Marion feels kind of weird but okay. The reason I'm actually here is because Monday, Zach and I are going with my mom on a road trip to Hot Springs, Arkansas. And from what I hear, it's just as beautiful and amazing as it sounds. I can't wait! I've never been so far West before. Apparently, you can get in the Hot Springs like a hot tub and there's minerals in the water that's really good for your skin because it's all natural spring water heated up by the Earth I guess. All I know is this is going to be one of the most fun road trips I've had in a long time.
Maybe I'll come back even darker than I already am, which is really tan anyways. I've never been so tan before, and so early in the year. It's not even summer yet and I already have really broad, thick tan lines where my bikini sits. It took hours and hours of sitting on the beach to get as tan as I am now so I hope I don't have to start over next summer.