today, tomorrow, and the future.

Well, I just had to finish up writing this short story in my creative writing class. We were shown 2 pictures and told to write a short story that had something to do with the picture. I think my story was really good, you know, to be on the spot in just one class period. I only do good when I'm given a prompt. Its just difficult to spark up ideas for me.. I want to major in something like journalism, or something like arts or photography. That kind of stuff interests me. Getting my mind on paper. I also like web design, interior design, and graphic design. I guess I have a lot of ideas of what I want to do with my life, I just haven't completely made up my mind yet. I know I need to, I know I need to get it together and realize what I want to do and what I'm going to do.. it's hard though. For my first 2 years of college, my mom wants me to attend Marion Military Institute. It's not a bad place and I'm not against the military, but military school? I'm not into that. I don't want anything to do with that. It's not me... I've gone through enough shit without having to go through military Sargents yelling at me. and I just plain don't like wearing my hair up. I don't want to be the type to complain of having a little discipline but I don't want to go there... ugh I have a lot to think about.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.9

going insane

Why can I find my inner creativity? Maybe its because I just haven't stopped thinking about it long enough to be able to get some creativity. But I have this sheet of paper in front of me, this blank sheet of paper that's just begging to be wrote on, but I can't think of what to do! >.< why is this happening right now? I'm just thinking maybe I can find it.. somewhere. One day. I guess what I'm going to do now is what I do best, rant. But not bad ranting. Just going on and on about different things. (:

Pageviews?

Well, I just looked at the overview of my blog and it said I had 99 pageviews... I don't know for sure, but I don't think I could have done all of those myself.. but I might have. either way, 99 is a lot compared to what Im usually expecting which is ... none. But who am I even kidding? No one ever looks at this blog. I looked at Flickr (most people know, but its a photo sharing website) ... there was a lot of views like more than 100 on multiple pictures on there. I haven't gotten on flickr in so long, that made me feel like uncomfortable because what if people are going through my stuff? Makes me a little nervous, because I know I did not click on specific pictures 100 times. But I don't know. I've advertised this blog to a lot of my other social networks but it hasn't gotten any more popular, (not like I need it to be, I mean I'm perfectly fine.) And I'm just done putting it out there and I'm done with saying "look at my blog" I have a blogster. That seems to be pretty popular, with the people on there. Blogster, blogger. Big difference. Anyways this blog is like my private world now. Unless if by chance, there's someone reading this.. then.. stop being shy and just comment or something I mean, I don't care or anything. I'm sure I'm talking to myself though :b haha

Writer's block

A lot here recently, I've been wondering about how to find my inner creativity/ inner genius. I know I have a certain gift- I can write really well. And here within the last month, I've discovered that I can draw. But it is really hard for me to find motivation, inspiration, and creation. All of them I lack. It's really hard for me to find that spark to create something beautiful. I can't do it. I'm thinking it's a form of writers block, to not be able to find what to write. But. Maybe I can find it somewhere in my brain.

Sorry

I know it's not good to be a pessimist, and just be pissed off all the time, but I feel the need to rant.
I know that it may seem like I'm trying to grow up too fast, maybe even seem a little immature, but something that's really been bothering me lately is the fact that I'm not old enough to drive on my own. Seems stupid to be upset over something like that, but it is what it is.
Never being able to drive anywhere, without my mom in the passenger seat, is the core of all my stress. Anything that bothers me, and anything that I worry about, could be fixed instantly if I could only drive a car by myself. And I have a car, which isn't a problem. Yes, we can just dream about how I'm going to be 16 and driving on my own soon, before I know it, before I realize it, but I have a long way to go. I still have a lot of time left before I can qualify to get my license. It makes me sick, it really does. Having to depend on my mom to take me everywhere. I'm not 10, I shouldn't have to make her drive me everywhere.
But that brings me to something totally different: She DOESN'T drive me anywhere at all! She's always "tired" or "busy" .. I hate it. I could die, literally, at eny moment. Why should I have to hold back from doing what I want to do?
My 16th birthday is March 3rd.. which is 127 days away, according to my brother, but I haven't counted so I'm not 100% certain. We'll just say I am. These 127 days get slower and slower. With the exception when I'm having fun- then, they fly. Which comes as no surprise. Like I said, it is what it is.
Pointless blog post, but I wanted to get this out of my brain. And even though it won't completely be out of my thoughts, and I'll probably STILL be thinking about it and stressing it- it was nice to get it on here.