Updated blog

After working at this for a few hours, I think I have finally got it right! I've always had issues with how my blog looked and wondering if I liked it or not but now I think I've gotten it perfect! I added a new beautiful and colorful outer space looking background to it, and I have changed some fonts and colors and now I do believe i have gotten it perfect! I wish I could make more pages, like maybe a guestbook for people to write messages and add pictures too, but I don't think I can do that, and I don't think I'd know how even if I could! Well, I'm going to get off here now, until I can think of something else to blog about! (:

Picture Post

Memories I Won't Forget

I don't even know why but I made this picture haha I really hate cops 

I never thought I would like spray painting so much until I did with my best friend. Now were going to be painting more than just bridges👌

Zach sitting on a rock at the Cahawba River. He looks so photogenic and adorable in this picture! This is the best picture I've ever taken of Zach :) he is wonderful. 

My halfway good but halfway terrible drawing of me and Zach hahaha I like this picture so much

My baby calico 

Me getting older. Numbers are age but I haven't put made one with 18 yet 😂

Depressed

Why? That's why I'm making this blog post. 

For the past 2 years of high school, all I've wanted is to go back to West Blocton & be back in public school because I hate private school so badly. I especially hate the private school I'm going to now & all my high school years have been spent in private schools & it's absolutely miserable. This last semester of my senior year, I was very much hoping of spending it at West Blocton. Well... that idea has been fucked to shit. I've lost all hope of going back because I have no ride, so no way to get there. I wish I could be like my brother & just deal with riding with my dad but since he's graduating earlier than me, I would be riding with him alone & I will NEVER do that. 

I'm depressed because all my high school years have been wasted & my most important senior year especially. Sometimes, I just think about failing on purpose just so I can have another senior year. But of course, I know I can't even fucking do that either. 

I'm so fucking depressed that I know that Christmas break is coming to an end & there's only a few more short days until I start back my second semester. & it's just worse that I know I'm going to be forced spending it in a school I hate. 

I've been wishing this whole time that something bad would just happen to me. Maybe a car hit me & I have to be in the hospital or something, at this point I don't even care what happens to me, I just don't want to go back to that school. I would rather be in the hospital than that school. I'd rather be dead. 

All my hope & dreams are lost & I know there's not a snowball's chance in hell for me to go where I want with my life. I can't even choose what college I want to go to. There's no future with me, or where I want to go. 

So I'm just fucking stranded... in a school that hasn't educated me in two years, and is JUST now educating me. Yeah guess what? 10th & 11th grade, I have been SO uneducated that I took a practice ACT test and made a fucking 12. There's no fucking telling how bad I am going to do when I take the REAL ACT! Before, I would get frustrated over that fact, but tonight, I'm passed all of it. I'm passed all the frustration because I know that's going to get me nowhere. I'm just hopeless & depressed now. There's no future for me. I really just want to die. I will never be happy... & because I can't go to the right school & have the right education & restrictions, I will never follow my New Years resolution to quit smoking weed or quit drugs because now I know that there's no hope left. & that's all I have. 

Because, you see, I had this planned out before... It could've been so simple. Going to school at West Blocton, but waking up earlier in the morning, going to school there with a packed schedule, & staying after school with Morgan until his baseball practice was over. I wouldn't even have had time to be smoking weed...but since I have all of the free time now, that's all I'm going to want to do. I can see it now. 

A miserable hell of a future lies ahead of me & I know it. That's why I'm so depressed. 

It's 3:30 in the morning

I don't know how but I seriously just stayed up until 3 o clock in the morning playing on my computer. This probably means a long sleep in tomorrow.. Idek why I'm making this blog post I mean I don't have anything else to post on so why not blog? 

Anyways I'm probably about to go to sleep, or try to at least

Follow up on last post

Well I was able to get myself up this morning, and go to school despite how late I stayed up. I took my first exam with flying colors, & I was doing just fine! But this fucking KID in my class won't shut the fuck up... He annoys me. EVERYTHING about him annoys me! His fucking voice, the way he shows up to school in fucking TANK TOPS that I'm pretty sure are 3 sizes too small for him! It's fucking December, & 37 degrees PUT SOME FUCKING CLOTHES ON! 

Oh that's not the worst part. He will fucking stretch back in the chair exposing his nasty ass hairy arm pits & because his tank top is too fucking small, his shirt comes up and shows his NASTY ASS STOMACH! His fucking stomach has more hair than his head does! UGH! 

Oh but that's not the worst part either. He's 18 fucking yeas old & he acts 12. I hate this stupid immature kid that should've already been graduated from this class by now! He absolutely disgusts me! 

Moral of this blog post: I can stay up late & wake up in the morning just fine. I can get myself to school just fine. Until I get to the fucking school & it's like I'm in a zoo then I'm pissed. 

I'm pretty sure I'm fucking up big time

Although it doesn't feel like it, it's 1:00 in the morning but I just can't sleep. I have 2 exams in the morning also, I'm going to feel like shit tomorrow. I decided to post shit like THIS on here instead of tumblr because I pretty much just use tumblr for pictures. 

Gosh, why am I up blogging? I should be sleeping... My new sims game became too addictive to me tonight it was so hard to just finally quit! Ugh. I just really wish school could be over already for the holidays... This sucks.. If I didn't have school I could even be playing my new game, & I would be staying up all nigh to play it just because I enjoy it & it's one of my favorite things to do! I wish that Christmas break would come already... I've already gotten a few early things for Christmas but what I really want is a new camera. One that takes pictures and videos! I want to start documenting more of my life so I can watch when I'm older...

Or if the world ends somehow & there's people left that might find my camera could see how I lived. 

I really do need to stop blogging & try to get some sleep... This whole exam thoughs going through my head is kind of freaking me out... I would rather my school just allow us to take our exams in the afternoon instead of the mornings.. I'm just not a morning person. & my train of thought is usually better in the afternoon.

Okay before I start just going on and on and on with more details, I'm going to end this blog post

What I mean by the title: I've done fucked up cause I've stayed up WAY too late & I have 2 exams in the morning! Fuck!!!! At least school lets us out after we're done with our 2nd exam.... :) which means more play time on the computer for me! ;) 

Pictures :)

I don't know why, I'm just going to post some pictures since I haven't really blogged on here for a while.