Lately, I've been doing lots of reading and trying to understand poetry better so while I was at Books a Million with my mom, she told me she would let me pick out a book and she would buy it so I was really happy about that. I decided to get Walt Whitman's Leaves of Grass and I don't think I could've made a better decision. So for the passed month or so I have been doing lots of reading. The poems in Leaves of Grass are really interesting and well written. My favorites so far are Song of Myself, Song of the Open Road, and Perfections. Song of Myself really speaks to me because it's about doing things for yourself, and understanding other people's point of views. One of my favorite lines goes like this:
"I exist as I am, that is enough.
If no other in the world be aware I sit content,
And if each and all be aware I sit content."
Meaning I don't care if anyone acknowledges me and I don't care if my existence means anything to anyone else, because I'm not seeking approval from anyone. I have filled up tons of pages in my inspiration journal with quotes and poetry by Walt Whitman. Song of the Open Road is another one of my favorites, but like Song of Myself, it is a very long poem with way too many lines to recite right now. So I will just recite one line that meant something to me.
The north and the south are mine, the east and the west are mine.
And to me, this means that when I'm driving, I can go anywhere I choose. Every direction of the open road is mine. I don't know if that line is 100% correctly quoted, because I don't have my copy of Leaves of Grass with me right now, so I'm trying to only go by my memory. I have highlighted all of my favorite lines in the book that I've read so far and I wish I could write them all down on my blog but I don't feel like going to get it out of my car right now.
Unlike Song of Myself and Song of the Open Road, Walt Whitman's poem Perfections is very short. In fact, it's only 2 lines long, so I can recite it really easily. It goes like this...
"Only themselves understand themselves and the likes of themselves,
As souls only understand souls."
And I just really liked this one because it seems fitting to say that souls only understand souls. People really don't understand each other the way we should. We only understand our own perspectives and our own reasons for doing things.
Thursday, August 10, 2017
Sunday, July 9, 2017
Astrology
So, I decided tonight that I would visit Astrology.com to get my horoscope and pick some Tarot cards and surprisingly, they were all fitting. My horoscope said essentially that beginning late in the evening, I would feel compelled to complete everything that's unfinished in a "most methodical way." Then proceeded to ask the question; Are you up for it, even though you're usually not very fond of rules that encumber your creative side? You bet you are. So I assume that answer would be yes, because here I am, dotting all of the i's and crossing all of the t's. I felt like I left my blog unfinished this morning and honestly felt bored because I don't have anything else to do.
I also read my Horoscope from yesterday, and it told me that if I were to buy myself a gift, to buy a journal because it's something to be productive with my time and creativity. Am I going to buy a new journal? Probably not, because I already have plenty, but still, I am a bit impressed at the accuracy. I have been feeling the need to do more writing lately, and if not writing, just coloring instead of painting. I've been trying to get better at using colored pencils but for now, but that's irrelevant.
Anyways, I proceeded deeper in Astrology.com and picked my random Tarot cards and they seemed to be accurate. First, I picked a Daily Tarot and I got the Sun! After that, I picked a random Yes or No tarot card and this is what it said....
The Sun- Your Answer is Yes!
The Sun represents good thoughts, happiness, and contentment. You find a good place in your life where you experience satisfaction. Your worries fade away for a time and you are able to relax. All of the fears that surrounded you for so long now fade into the background. This is a result more of your own attitude changing rather than a turn of events.
I also read my Horoscope from yesterday, and it told me that if I were to buy myself a gift, to buy a journal because it's something to be productive with my time and creativity. Am I going to buy a new journal? Probably not, because I already have plenty, but still, I am a bit impressed at the accuracy. I have been feeling the need to do more writing lately, and if not writing, just coloring instead of painting. I've been trying to get better at using colored pencils but for now, but that's irrelevant.
Anyways, I proceeded deeper in Astrology.com and picked my random Tarot cards and they seemed to be accurate. First, I picked a Daily Tarot and I got the Sun! After that, I picked a random Yes or No tarot card and this is what it said....
The Sun- Your Answer is Yes!
The Sun represents good thoughts, happiness, and contentment. You find a good place in your life where you experience satisfaction. Your worries fade away for a time and you are able to relax. All of the fears that surrounded you for so long now fade into the background. This is a result more of your own attitude changing rather than a turn of events.
So, as much time as I've been spending on myself and my attitude, and just trying to rid my life of negativity should soon pay off. That much is true, regardless of how you feel about horoscopes or tarot cards or any psychic readings. I'll admit that I used to call it bullshit but these reading are somewhat seeming to fall into place with how my life is going right now.
Sleepless
I usually can't even blog whenever I want because I never have a reliable Internet connection, but for now, I can. So I woke up a few hours ago from another nightmare where I'm back in the ocean but can't swim because the water is just too choppy and wavy. I understand why I would be having that nightmare, though because 2 weeks ago I was on the boat with Kali, Wil, and Tyler but didn't consider that when I jumped off the boat in the water that it would be a lot harder to swim than before because the waves were just too strong. It was the first time I've swam and used all my strength but barely went anywhere. To me, I think the reason I would be having a nightmare about that is because I've always been such a strong swimmer but felt like I was losing control. I take some pride in feeling like a mermaid at heart with swimming being something I'm really good at, and maybe I felt like that was taken from me. That day was bad because I wasn't expecting the ocean to be so much stronger than me. The last time we all went swimming off the boat, the water was calm and very gentle so I guess I just thought it would be okay.
Sometimes, I can understand my dreams, like that one, but others just confuse the hell out of me. In my dreams, I am usually driving because that's what I do a lot, especially now because I've been driving a lot from state to state on the weekends. I'm driving in my dreams, but I always know where to go. The roads I take in my dreams always lead me to places that I intend on going, but the roads themselves are different. So my problem is obviously not with direction, but maybe different roads? Even the roads in Florida, that are still kind of new to me, appear to be different but still go where they're supposed to go. Basically, they look like roads I have never driven in my entire life but go to the same places I've been driving before. I don't understand that at all.
I'm a very avid, very vivid dreamer. I've had friends tell me that they don't dream and I'm just trying to imagine, how boring and how monotonous that must be. Even if my dreams turn into nightmares, it's still okay with me because even when I'm dreaming, I sort of know that I'm dreaming. I have gotten into a habit of doing reality checks, which carry on into my dreams so I just know. Some of the reality checks I do is counting how many fingers I have, (In your dreams, you will have more or less than 10 fingers) watch a digital clock and make sure time is actually going by in minutes, (I choose a digital clock because seeing the numbers go up with the minutes is another way to check that you're awake. While you're dreaming, time on the clock will appear to move faster, or stay at the same time.) I also do reality checks in my car, because as I mentioned before, a lot of my dreams happen in my car so I use my speedometer and RPMs to determine if I'm dreaming or not. (And this one, is all my own, so this probably won't work for anyone else. If the speedometer just sits in the same place for a really long time, or my speed shoots up and then goes down rapidly, I can assume I'm dreaming. Anything out of the ordinary.)
Before, I've actually dreamed that I was driving my car while it was on fire. That was a really scary one, that began as a regular dream then quickly turned into a nightmare. Sometimes I dream that I'm trying to get my car to go into gear, but it can't, or I'm pressing the gas but going nowhere or hitting the brakes but not stopping. I've even dreamed that I had 2 Fiats. I feel like I would be having a dream like that because I'm afraid my car is going to break down on me or not be reliable when I need it. It's funny, because my shift linkage on my car is broken, so Zach has to put my car in gear manually. (In simple terms, when I move my gear shifter to Park, Reverse or Drive, nothing happens because the link is missing.) This just happened recently but I've had the dream that my car wouldn't go into gear before.
Sometimes, I can understand my dreams, like that one, but others just confuse the hell out of me. In my dreams, I am usually driving because that's what I do a lot, especially now because I've been driving a lot from state to state on the weekends. I'm driving in my dreams, but I always know where to go. The roads I take in my dreams always lead me to places that I intend on going, but the roads themselves are different. So my problem is obviously not with direction, but maybe different roads? Even the roads in Florida, that are still kind of new to me, appear to be different but still go where they're supposed to go. Basically, they look like roads I have never driven in my entire life but go to the same places I've been driving before. I don't understand that at all.
I'm a very avid, very vivid dreamer. I've had friends tell me that they don't dream and I'm just trying to imagine, how boring and how monotonous that must be. Even if my dreams turn into nightmares, it's still okay with me because even when I'm dreaming, I sort of know that I'm dreaming. I have gotten into a habit of doing reality checks, which carry on into my dreams so I just know. Some of the reality checks I do is counting how many fingers I have, (In your dreams, you will have more or less than 10 fingers) watch a digital clock and make sure time is actually going by in minutes, (I choose a digital clock because seeing the numbers go up with the minutes is another way to check that you're awake. While you're dreaming, time on the clock will appear to move faster, or stay at the same time.) I also do reality checks in my car, because as I mentioned before, a lot of my dreams happen in my car so I use my speedometer and RPMs to determine if I'm dreaming or not. (And this one, is all my own, so this probably won't work for anyone else. If the speedometer just sits in the same place for a really long time, or my speed shoots up and then goes down rapidly, I can assume I'm dreaming. Anything out of the ordinary.)
Before, I've actually dreamed that I was driving my car while it was on fire. That was a really scary one, that began as a regular dream then quickly turned into a nightmare. Sometimes I dream that I'm trying to get my car to go into gear, but it can't, or I'm pressing the gas but going nowhere or hitting the brakes but not stopping. I've even dreamed that I had 2 Fiats. I feel like I would be having a dream like that because I'm afraid my car is going to break down on me or not be reliable when I need it. It's funny, because my shift linkage on my car is broken, so Zach has to put my car in gear manually. (In simple terms, when I move my gear shifter to Park, Reverse or Drive, nothing happens because the link is missing.) This just happened recently but I've had the dream that my car wouldn't go into gear before.
Sunday, June 11, 2017
Florida
I have been out of Alabama and off of social media for a few months now. Mainly because there was soda in my phone and that's why it was always breaking and the battery had to be replaced so many times. I'm not complaining, though. I actually like not being on social media all the time. So now, I only get online when I use my mom's laptop when I'm visiting her.
I use an old Tracfone now and all I use it for is calling because I barely text anyone anyways. But anyways, Florida is amazing and fun. I'm much happier living there than living in this dump town. I'm getting to be all free spirit and do my own thing for a while before I consider moving back. That is, if I even considered it, anyways, because for now I haven't. Florida just makes me feel like I'm going to be young forever and makes me a happier person in general. My small town house is perfect for me, and it's a good place to read and think and create art and paintings.
I may login to my Tumblr art blog and download some of them to my Art page on this blog.
Sometimes, sharing my art with the internet seems like a good idea, because I guess I want other people to enjoy my paintings, (if you enjoy that kinda stuff.) but sometimes it feels like a crime because it opens up a window of opportunity for others to steal or copy my ideas, or in other cases, try to tell me my paintings are awful or ugly or unsatisfactory. Whatever happens, it's okay because I don't upload all of my art anyways. Surely, there's no way for anyone to steal all my ideas, though. I have filled up almost two Canson Mixed Media books with nothing but my paintings and drawings. I love the mixed media books, because I love painting with watercolors and the mix media paper works amazing for watercolor because the paper is thicker than regular paper.
Anyways, on another note, spending the weekend of the Marion rodeo actually in Marion feels kind of weird but okay. The reason I'm actually here is because Monday, Zach and I are going with my mom on a road trip to Hot Springs, Arkansas. And from what I hear, it's just as beautiful and amazing as it sounds. I can't wait! I've never been so far West before. Apparently, you can get in the Hot Springs like a hot tub and there's minerals in the water that's really good for your skin because it's all natural spring water heated up by the Earth I guess. All I know is this is going to be one of the most fun road trips I've had in a long time.
Maybe I'll come back even darker than I already am, which is really tan anyways. I've never been so tan before, and so early in the year. It's not even summer yet and I already have really broad, thick tan lines where my bikini sits. It took hours and hours of sitting on the beach to get as tan as I am now so I hope I don't have to start over next summer.
I use an old Tracfone now and all I use it for is calling because I barely text anyone anyways. But anyways, Florida is amazing and fun. I'm much happier living there than living in this dump town. I'm getting to be all free spirit and do my own thing for a while before I consider moving back. That is, if I even considered it, anyways, because for now I haven't. Florida just makes me feel like I'm going to be young forever and makes me a happier person in general. My small town house is perfect for me, and it's a good place to read and think and create art and paintings.
I may login to my Tumblr art blog and download some of them to my Art page on this blog.
Sometimes, sharing my art with the internet seems like a good idea, because I guess I want other people to enjoy my paintings, (if you enjoy that kinda stuff.) but sometimes it feels like a crime because it opens up a window of opportunity for others to steal or copy my ideas, or in other cases, try to tell me my paintings are awful or ugly or unsatisfactory. Whatever happens, it's okay because I don't upload all of my art anyways. Surely, there's no way for anyone to steal all my ideas, though. I have filled up almost two Canson Mixed Media books with nothing but my paintings and drawings. I love the mixed media books, because I love painting with watercolors and the mix media paper works amazing for watercolor because the paper is thicker than regular paper.
Anyways, on another note, spending the weekend of the Marion rodeo actually in Marion feels kind of weird but okay. The reason I'm actually here is because Monday, Zach and I are going with my mom on a road trip to Hot Springs, Arkansas. And from what I hear, it's just as beautiful and amazing as it sounds. I can't wait! I've never been so far West before. Apparently, you can get in the Hot Springs like a hot tub and there's minerals in the water that's really good for your skin because it's all natural spring water heated up by the Earth I guess. All I know is this is going to be one of the most fun road trips I've had in a long time.
Maybe I'll come back even darker than I already am, which is really tan anyways. I've never been so tan before, and so early in the year. It's not even summer yet and I already have really broad, thick tan lines where my bikini sits. It took hours and hours of sitting on the beach to get as tan as I am now so I hope I don't have to start over next summer.
Sunday, September 6, 2015
My Happy Place
This is at Okaloosa Island's Boardwalk in Fort Walton Florida. I love the beach so much, it makes me so happy and I love getting to swim in the ocean and the best part is I'm gonna get to go back tomorrow
Tuesday, August 25, 2015
Picture Post #2
The next time I get my hair done, it will be something like this. So I can be blonde & pink at the same time ;D
Wait... Why am I posting pictures? I don't have to. I use FreePrints. Best decision ever!
Rant !
Okay so I'm on Facebook and I see this girl posting a bunch of statuses about being homeless and sharing an advertisement for a fund raiser for $300 dollars so she can stay in a hotel room. But seriously, this girl obviously has money for whatever smart device it may be, a smartphone, a tablet, iPad, laptop, desktop computer, whatever it may be to be getting on the internet to be posting this stuff. So you know she's not that bad off. If she's using a cell phone then there's gotta be a phone bill..right? Or even if she's some place using free WiFi she's still got some sort of smart device that's able to connect to the internet! And this bitch has piercings all over her mouth and eye brows & just 2 days ago she's posting about how she got a hair cut. You know I can't even remember the last time I had my hair done. So she can't be struggling that bad. Um, maybe you could get a fucking job? Instead of asking your Facebook friends for money. I mean I have never been so repulsed in my life. I cannot stand when people ask for money!
One year my family and I took a trip to San Antonio, Texas and on every corner you would see someone asking for money. My mom has such a sense of humor. This Mexican man was standing outside of a bar and he asked my mom for a quarter for a beer. She didn't mind giving him a quarter for a beer just because he was honest! And I wouldn't honestly mind giving the man a quarter either because it's better than some of the low life's you see faking being broke, like the woman that stood outside the same Walmart for weeks asking customers for money, and a local man recognized her at a gas station in a 2014 Fiat 500. The man was furious, of course, so he got out his phone and started to take a video. "You are driving a nicer car than I am and you are standing outside Walmart everyday asking me for money! You drive a newer car than I do!" In this situation, I would have reacted the same way. Because the woman was a liar and it was pathetic. If you have the money to be investing in a car like a Fiat then you certainly don't need to be panhandling.
But you know what is common in all of these situations? None of them were asking for money on Facebook. Reguardless, it costs money to get on Facebook in the first place. Weather you pay for your Wifi at home, or you paid for your laptop or smart phone, or you pay a bill every month to have wireless internet on your phone, you are still paying money to be able to use social networks. And this girl is posting these things at midnight, and I honestly don't know of any public libraries that stay open until midnight. Do you? Exactly.
Maybe you could've saved the money from all those piercings on your face. People work hard to make a living these days, especially at the businesses that do wrong to good people for no reason. I have seen it too many times, from my mom, my boyfriend, and even my dad, a math teacher that got fired because the principals son that was in his class didn't get an A or B. So much wrong doing, and I could go on and on with more examples, but that's a whole different blog post.
I guess I just wanted to rant about something that was bothering me.
Until next time, goodbye :)
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